


OUT EXCLUSIVES

by 17826



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Christine Everhart, Bisexual Sam Wilson, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Gay Bucky Barnes, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lesbian Maria Hill, Meta, Multi, OUT Magazine, Post-Avengers 4, Queer Peggy Carter, assuming the next two avengers films have the plot we are all predicting, because he deserves it and im too sad to write him any other way, bucky barnes at peace with the world, interview format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 22:51:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8420224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/17826/pseuds/17826
Summary: OUT EXCLUSIVES 

  Oh Captain, My Captain
War hero turned terrorist scapegoat turned Avenger: James ‘Bucky’ Barnes on history, legacy, and the new Captain America.BY CHRISTINE EVERHARTTUE, 2020-10-06 11:00





	

OUT EXCLUSIVES 

**Oh Captain, My Captain**

War hero turned terrorist scapegoat turned Avenger: James ‘Bucky’ Barnes on history, legacy, and the new Captain America.

BY CHRISTINE EVERHART

TUE, 2020-10-06 11:00

* * *

 

_Photography by Ramona Romales. Styling by Jordan Grossman. Makeup: Maki Ryoki for Tom Ford Beauty. Hair: Tina Outen for Streeters London. Photo Assistants: Sunshine Do, Nick Browne, Anna Carrera. Digital Assistant: Peter Lee. Retouching: Digital Light, LTD. Market Editor: Michael Cook. Fashion Assistant: Lauren Murphy_

 

When James Buchanan Barnes and Steven Grant Rogers returned from fighting aliens in space, the last thing anyone expected of the pair was a press conference, given their two year absence from the public eye; at any such conference, given the aforementioned aliens in space, the topic of sexuality was not expected to make an appearance. Nonetheless, a conference was held and the topic was discussed, and the LGBT community was given new heroes. So this year, when the Avengers returned from their second space battle of recent years and, tragically, announced the passing of Steven Grant Rogers, I knew I had a press conference wouldn’t cut it.

 

So, how does one go about getting an interview with someone whose last contact with the press was a monosyllabic answer to a London newspaper in 1941? The first step is to email Stark Industries, and SHIELD, and the Wakandan embassy, and any other organisation which might claim jurisdiction. Predictably, this resulted in months of being given addresses and forwarded to different departments and generally sent in circles; it wasn’t until the Met Gala in May that my breakthrough finally came, in the beautiful form of Sharon Carter. Through her acquaintance, I was able to get in direct contact with James ‘Bucky’ Barnes.

 

Fast forward three months and I find myself in a barren apartment acting as a studio in central Manhattan with a top-of-the-range Stark Tech security system leaves no doubt as to who has lent us this space. As I watch the photoshoot being tidied up, a PR representative helpfully reiterates to me the instructions I have already read in no less than five emails; no asking about potentially mission-compromising information , the final draft is to be sent to Stark Industries prior to printing, and I am not to mention Steve Rogers in the interview under any circumstance, though I can talk about Captain America so long as I specify that I am referring to the current form of the iconic superhero. I know that when Hilton Als interviewed Sam Wilson for this publication, he also had to adhere to the first two rules I had been given, though not the third, which seems a bit counterproductive to me and I’m sure is geared towards not inviting sensational statements about the Captain too soon after his death. Nonetheless, I nod along, hopefully convincingly. I am sure I can talk my way around these restrictions, and so, as I find out, can James Barnes.

 

The man himself returns from the changing room shortly and talks to the photographer in her native Spanish before coming over to greet me. I realise suddenly that I am nervous in a way that I haven’t been since the first time I handed in my portfolio at Vanity Fair over a decade ago. I have been instructed to call James by his first name, which he seems comfortable with, though it quickly becomes clear that the rules I have had drilled into me for the past week were not his idea. He talks with a lot of hesitation between long impassioned speeches littered with colloquialisms and filler words, and comes off as charming and warm; the only indication that he is not as comfortable as he seems is the constant fiddling of his left hand with what looks like a chain for dog tags.

 

The effect that James Barnes has on the American identity cannot be overstated. Prior to his resurrection, he was a symbol of loyalty and idealism in simple way that managed to always shine through even through the most terrible of the Captain America films, and now he is perhaps one of the most pivotal figures in LGBT history still alive today. His coming out in and of itself has pushed us to view the past in a new light, lending legitimacy and support to queer readings of historical figures. Personally, the first article I ever wrote was for my school newspaper in the fifth grade and it was an unsophisticated celebration of my favourite Howling Commando; the op-ed I posted on out.com after the 2019 press conference was more or less the same article, just with better spelling. Securing the first interview with him has realised a dream I had been afraid to admit even to myself.

 

I had the pleasure of meeting Steven Rogers on a few separate occasions and he always came across as a perfect gentleman, somehow timeless in the way he dressed and conducted himself in public. James Barnes is not timeless; if I did not know his unlikely history as thoroughly as any other person on the planet, I would think he had been born 30 years ago. Until the final question of our interview, he is calm and collected despite the small pauses in his answers, and his voice becomes only more urgent - and much more Brooklyn - during his last answer. James Barnes may be the oldest man on the planet, but he has clearly so much left to give.

  
  


**Christine Everhart:** Thank you for agreeing to this interview, James, we’re honoured. Perhaps an unconventional question to start, but how are you doing?

 

 **James Barnes:** Is that an unconventional question? I don’t know. Thanks for asking, I guess. I’m okay, I’m good. I’m okay.

 

 **CE:** This is your first ever public interview. Some would say it was long overdue, given that your film career started in the 1940s. Why now?

 

 **JB:** I dunno, I guess… Because you asked? And given all that happened recently, all that’s being said now, I thought one of us should say something.

 

 **CE:** One of us?

 

 **JB:** The Avengers, or whatever Stark’s branding team calls us next - maybe a name change is due. Seems appropriate. Avenging implies that we wait to get hit first before fighting back, and that was never anyone’s style. Can’t think of a better name though, and I was always told I had a way with words. Not sure I agree with that anymore.

 

 **CE:** Since your return to public life in 2018, the announcement of your sexuality has become one of the defining moments in queer history. Does that bring a lot of pressure?

 

 **JB:** Yeah, I guess, but not in a _bad_ way I think. Since Sam [Wilson] was already an Avenger and already openly queer, there was no doubt in my mind that coming out was something I wanted to do. For someone like me whose circumstances have shifted so much and so often, when you become certain of something, you hold onto it.

 

And I still get very, y’know, worried about that sometimes, like there are kids looking up to me now, I gotta do the right thing and be a good example, as much as I can. But being surround by people like Sam and Maria [Hill, Director or the Avengers Initiative] who have been doing this, like, public personality thing a lot longer, that really helps, and being open and out isn’t a completely unfamiliar concept. Back in Brooklyn, we lived in an area where men at least could let their hair down a bit, so to speak. Demystifying everything, maybe that’s why I agreed to this. Like, it feels important to speak out and say, hey, the golden age never existed. I think throughout history, humans have always been dirty and mean, and gay, and dissatisfied, and comedic. That’s gotta be more accepted. Doing stuff like the Avengers, you always end up thinking about things like legacy - maybe that’s morbid, but I do have an impact now and it would be stupid to pretend I don’t. We all try to leave behind a legacy that’s good, dunno which of us will manage it though.

 

 **Related |** **Falcon Song (Cover Story)**

 

 **CE:** You mentioned Sam Wilson, who has now officially taken up the mantle as Captain America. Having seen you use the shield as we have, are you not the more obvious choice?

 

 **JB:** God, no. I couldn’t do his job. Sam makes a perfect Cap, he loves all the kissing of hands and like shaking of babies or whatever, and he was doing all of that anyway. For him, this is basically just a paint job. I’m still getting used to things like this, interviews and photoshoots and all, and I swear way too much to be Captain America. Though I did wear the costume once, when we were making the propaganda films in London and I lost a bet with Peggy [Carter] - I am definitely not telling you which film it was.

 

Peggy was another one, have you guys done a feature one her yet? Another one of us I mean, queer as anything. Bisexual, pansexual, whatever - she wasn’t really one for labels I think. She had this girl, after the war, apparently, had a Boston marriage for a while. Do you guys know this all already? I read a lot of your stuff online but I never thought to check for her name.

 

 **CE:** Do you have to catch up on queer history alone or is there someone who sits you down and teaches you?

 

 **JB:** Well, obviously before I gave my coming out statement, I got a, like, crash course of current politics and the LGBT movement over the last century, but there’s only so much that gets put into files like that, only so much you’re expected to be able to learn. Since then, I do try to, like, find out more on my own, but I have varying amounts of free time so it comes in waves.

 

And things like that, it never occurs to me to mention it really. Like, living where we lived in Brooklyn, the world wasn’t as closeted as the history books made it seem. It was like today, people didn’t always keep quiet about who they were, whether that was being queer or being a socialist or being an immigrant, and Peggy was just the same. She never hid who she was, except where her position in the SSR depended on it, and I always admired that about her. People say I must have been so jealous of her, I must have hated her, and like I was jealous, but not in the way people think. I adored her, all us Howling Commandos did, and I was so jealous of how sure she was of herself.

 

See, we did live in this queer neighbourhood, and we did know so many people like Peggy who were, at least in private, unashamed of themselves. But for the longest time, I wasn’t like that. Maybe I’ll regret saying this on the record, but I had so much guilt for the way I felt. It did feel like sin to me in a way it never did to him. I could never let myself do anything. The first time I felt comfortable being queer was, what, like 2014? And now, it seems so incomprehensible to me that I wasn’t fine with it before. Guess I just finally realised that there were more important things than the gender of the people I got attracted to. Only took me 90 years, right?

 

 **CE:** Who was the first person you told?

 

 **JB:** I don’t really remember - at one point, it was part of my cover story when I was working in a restaurant in Romania. I know it was used against me during my time at HYDRA though, and I don’t know how they would have found that out other than me telling them. But I’ve heard kids ask Sam before about coming out, and like was it scary, and does it change your life, and… So I think it’s an odd concept basically, because back in Brooklyn, no one could ‘come out’ in the same way people do today. You’d lose your job, your house, you’d be arrested, whatever. But you could just be queer without announcing it, and as long as you stayed in the right areas, it was okay. Part of me thinks that just that is enough, that having to announce yourself as not-hetero nowadays seems completely bizarre, like given how many people are queer and how far the LGBT rights movement has come.

 

But at the same time, it felt so liberating to announce to the world in one fell swoop that I’m gay, I completely get it when people place importance on coming out. But I had the privilege of an international platform to speak on, so I was literally coming out to everyone at the same time. And I’ve heard Sam say it before, and I’m gonna steal it because he’s not here to stop me, that coming out isn’t a one time thing for most people. He said he’s come out like a thousand times in a thousand ways because there is always someone who hasn’t been told yet. And that’s fine, y’know? You come out to the people you feel safe coming out to, and you don’t if you don’t. Doesn’t make you any less genuine, doesn’t mean you’re not being true to yourself. Like, doesn’t matter, right? Took me 90 years to work that out.

 

 **CE:** That’s a view at the forefront of queer theory at the moment. Given that and your recent involvement in the activism of Dr Bruce Banner, have you always been politically very modern or is this more a product of your recent education?

 

 **JB:** Is that a subtle way to ask if I used to be a Republican? I was never political back in Brooklyn, I was always far too preoccupied with trying to feed everyone for the week, and making enough money to cover rent. The ideas in politics seemed like the workings of richer people with much more time to spend looking at the bigger picture. Not that there wasn’t anyone in our area interested in the bigger picture, we knew a lot of radicals and a lot of socialists, I just never really counted myself as one of them because it never felt practical to spend time on something so abstract. Nowadays, having a lot more money and a lot fewer jobs means I can spend time and energy on it, and I always seem to find myself on Bruce’s side of the argument, so who am I to do any less?

 

 **Related |** **Oh Captain, My Captain (Photos)**

  


**CE:** Thank you for your time, James, I have only one last question. Earlier, you didn’t seem sure as to why you had agreed to this interview. Do you have any more idea now?

 

 **JB:** You know what? You know what, I’ll tell you something. We never even kissed. Not once, not properly. Sure, once or twice on the front line, when we thought we might die, we came close. Kissed each other on the cheek, then roughhoused for a minute to repent. But there was Peggy and there was a war, and my sisters, and his health, and there was always a reason not to, just enough to outweigh any reason we should. Or maybe things didn’t really weigh up that way, but I always pretended they did.

 

And maybe there was one time, one time we came close. Real close, I mean one twitch and we’d be gone - one twitch and who knows, right?

 

But that space between us, that moment before the moment after, God I want to live in that moment. Because after that moment, no matter what, there would be regrets, there will always be regrets. Or uncertainty that he has regrets, or uncertainty if I had regrets. But that moment… Every picture I see now, and you see this picture a lot really, every picture of people almost kissing, people caught in that moment, and I don’t mean shitty romance film posters or whatever, I mean two men with their eyes hooded and their lips a twitch away from each other. Or hell, two girls, really, just anything queer, those pictures, they _burn_ me, they burn in me. I want it so bad, that moment back. Not to change the ending really, I don’t know what I’d be today if I changed the ending, but just to be in that thing one more time, that’s all.

 

And I can’t help but think that maybe telling you this has insulted that moment. It was private, it _is_ private. It was my moment, and maybe his moment too, but it was _my_ moment. But it’s no use now really, and everyone has had that moment, haven’t they? Talking about this shit, shit we _never talked about_ , it’s important, more important now. Gotta, y’know, respect the legacy and all, which doesn’t mean making him untouchable, fuck knows there was enough of that in his lifetime. He was untouchable for so long, and maybe that was the problem. Because he even became untouchable to me, right? And that’s… that’s stupid, _that’s_ disrespectful. History always seems so untouchable and we owe it to ourselves to not let it stay that way, or we’re gonna lose who we are. His ma always told me I had the gift of blarney, I always saw the importance of stories. So you gotta know, he woulda kissed me. And I woulda kissed him, and it’s a damn shame we never did. Suppose there ain’t much of a moral to this. I dunno, just…

 

We never kissed. We shoulda. You gotta know, I wanted to. And God, I think he did too.

 

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Tags:  OUT EXCLUSIVES  ,  JAMES BARNES  ,  STEVE ROGERS  ,  CAPTAIN AMERICA 

**Author's Note:**

> obviously christine ( my love ) would stop at nothing to get the first public interview with bucky . i wish i had the photoshoot to go with this article , i really do
> 
> i've written this based on the assumption that steve is killed and revived by the infinity gauntlet during infinity war , then dies and chooses to stay dead in avengers 4 . personally , i think tony might die in infinity war too , but for the purposes of this , he doesn't . maybe when 2020 rolls around i'll rewrite this to fit canon , but for now , it's only canon compliant up to Dr Strange in the MCU chronology
> 
> thank u for reading ^^ kudos and comments feed my tiny greedy soul


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